It is with mixed emotions that I report to you, loyal readers, that I recently won a very healthy sum of money. In cash! In a way, this feels like bittersweet news. On one hand, I will soon enjoy a world full of creature comforts and will be free of all concerns. On the other hand, my new life of champagne and caviar may very well tear me away from the thrill of blogging that fills my life with so much joy, because this windfall will likely mean I will spend more time cruising the world's oceans on my yacht than sitting on my couch churning out delightful blog fodder. All I need to do is contact one Mr. William Sumtany at the completely un-suspicious email address of kjhhjggh@att.net and start spending!
But perhaps I should think of better things to do with my huge pile of cash than gazing upon endless golden Mediterranean sunsets...
Here are some options that could be funded with my new endowment:
Option 1 - Bring Peace to the Middle East: This is an obvious first choice--not only because I am currently living in Ramallah, but also because bringing peace to the Middle East would bring new economic opportunities to millions of hard working Palestinians, peace would ease the psychological burden of harassment and attacks, and peace would facilitate the exchange of culture, knowledge, and technology that makes for a vibrant global society. And just think of the impact I can make with my new towering stack of cash--I can purchase influence and authority and alter the course of Middle East politics for the benefit of mankind from this day forward. It is nearly unimaginable what positive change I can bring with this sum of money.
But perhaps I should leave peace in the Middle East in the hands of more capable minds (the rich are allowed to blatantly mix metaphors and split infinitives, by the way) and concentrate on other matters of global importance, such as...
Option 2 - Bring Peace to the Mid-West: After all, I am from Wisconsin. I spent two and a half decades living, learning, laughing, and loving in the Dairyland, and it breaks my heart to see my home state torn apart by simple money woes. My unexpected influx of cash could solve the political upheaval if I were to invest it in new state programs to secure good educational opportunities for the next generation of cheeseheads, to revive the crumbling transportation infrastructure, and to ensure that every family has at least one opportunity each year to visit Wisconsin Dells, eat squeaky cheese curds, and revel in the glory of Tommy Bartlett's water show extravaganza! Indeed, denying my fellow badgers of their inalienable rights by spending my money elsewhere could have tragic consequences.
Option 3 - Open a business: Recognizing that my first two options might be a bit beyond the scope of my available resources--and because my darling wife just told me that "peace comes from within"--it might be smarter for me to think smaller for now...opening a business to build more capital so I can buy peace in any number of suitable locations. Here are some of the new business ideas floating around in my newly wealthy head:
But perhaps I should think of better things to do with my huge pile of cash than gazing upon endless golden Mediterranean sunsets...
Here are some options that could be funded with my new endowment:
Option 1 - Bring Peace to the Middle East: This is an obvious first choice--not only because I am currently living in Ramallah, but also because bringing peace to the Middle East would bring new economic opportunities to millions of hard working Palestinians, peace would ease the psychological burden of harassment and attacks, and peace would facilitate the exchange of culture, knowledge, and technology that makes for a vibrant global society. And just think of the impact I can make with my new towering stack of cash--I can purchase influence and authority and alter the course of Middle East politics for the benefit of mankind from this day forward. It is nearly unimaginable what positive change I can bring with this sum of money.
But perhaps I should leave peace in the Middle East in the hands of more capable minds (the rich are allowed to blatantly mix metaphors and split infinitives, by the way) and concentrate on other matters of global importance, such as...
Option 2 - Bring Peace to the Mid-West: After all, I am from Wisconsin. I spent two and a half decades living, learning, laughing, and loving in the Dairyland, and it breaks my heart to see my home state torn apart by simple money woes. My unexpected influx of cash could solve the political upheaval if I were to invest it in new state programs to secure good educational opportunities for the next generation of cheeseheads, to revive the crumbling transportation infrastructure, and to ensure that every family has at least one opportunity each year to visit Wisconsin Dells, eat squeaky cheese curds, and revel in the glory of Tommy Bartlett's water show extravaganza! Indeed, denying my fellow badgers of their inalienable rights by spending my money elsewhere could have tragic consequences.
Option 3 - Open a business: Recognizing that my first two options might be a bit beyond the scope of my available resources--and because my darling wife just told me that "peace comes from within"--it might be smarter for me to think smaller for now...opening a business to build more capital so I can buy peace in any number of suitable locations. Here are some of the new business ideas floating around in my newly wealthy head:
- Recognizing that resources are scarce and people around the world are looking to stretch their consumer dollars farther while celebrating the customs of previous generations, I could open a full service sock repair store. People could drop off their worn out socks in the morning and pick them up--good as new--in the evening. This business would be called: Darn it All!
- Or, I could reach out to a larger market and provide a broad range of clothing maintenance and repair services with my business: Sew-Sew Fine!
- Going in a different direction, I could establish a small trading post in the frontier of the New World to sell the meat and fur of semi-aquatic rodents called: Leave it to Beaver.
Oh boy, I could go on and on, but I'm afraid that if I don't claim my winnings immediately this cash could go to someone else. And heaven knows what a less serious person would do with this money...
don't forget about your lifelong dream of taking photos and making a book of all of the clever names of hair salons. Here is your chance to make that happen and Change the World!
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